Everything happens so fast -- I feel like just yesterday we
watched movies in your laptop, just the two of us. You still watch movies now.
Without me, and only in between your endless tasks from work. You’ll end up falling asleep
after a long tiring day, while me, wide awake until 3 AM in the morning just
because I had enough sleep the whole day.
They
will only lead to two things, desperate waiting game or serious amount of
upset. Better no words than a broken
promises, don’t you think? I’m telling this to myself over and over so that I won’t
ever give false promises to anyone. And maybe the universe will return the
favor back to me.
This morning I read a
very confusing writing.The writer, he said “Losing someone who can’t be so sure
of you isn’t really a loss. You are only wasting your time bulding your hope
for something that’s going to hurt you in the end.” Is it because he’s a guy,
that he would never understand how a loss really mean? It’s true, i’m sick of
the idea that someone I love feels doubt of me, but letting go of him after
being with you for so many years, it’s a different story.
Is it what it is that
people call it growing up? I must say I don’t like it. It needed lots of crying
in the process. And the nerve to let go.
A wise man said once, “Never
allow someone to be your priority when all you are to them is just an option.
Never put yourself in a position where your feelings and needed are not being
honored. Above all, never settle for indecisiveness.”
Again, there’s so much
questions in my head.
But I need to find the
answer for one thing right now. Is being all by myself really is scary, after
all?
