Sunday, November 26, 2017

I Must Say I Don't Like It

Everything happens so fast --  I feel like just yesterday we watched movies in your laptop, just the two of us. You still watch movies now. Without me, and only in between your endless  tasks from work. You’ll end up falling asleep after a long tiring day, while me, wide awake until 3 AM in the morning just because I had enough sleep the whole day.

I hate promises.

They will only lead to two things, desperate waiting game or serious amount of upset. Better no words than a broken promises, don’t you think? I’m telling this to myself over and over so that I won’t ever give false promises to anyone. And maybe the universe will return the favor back to me.

This morning I read a very confusing writing.The writer, he said “Losing someone who can’t be so sure of you isn’t really a loss. You are only wasting your time bulding your hope for something that’s going to hurt you in the end.” Is it because he’s a guy, that he would never understand how a loss really mean? It’s true, i’m sick of the idea that someone I love feels doubt of me, but letting go of him after being with you for so many years, it’s a different story.

Is it what it is that people call it growing up? I must say I don’t like it. It needed lots of crying in the process. And the nerve to let go.

A wise man said once, “Never allow someone to be your priority when all you are to them is just an option. Never put yourself in a position where your feelings and needed are not being honored. Above all, never settle for indecisiveness.”

Again, there’s so much questions in my head.

But I need to find the answer for one thing right now. Is being all by myself really is scary, after all? 

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